He's his what????

My husband and I went to Costco, a place where it is truly best if we stay together.  Unfortunately, I was immediately distracted by this.

Two televisions playing both Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back simultaneously?  There is no way I could resist watching them.  They even ended at the same time.

My husband was very happy about this development, not only did it mean he would know where I was the entire time, but that he could shop without restraint.

Which reminds me, anyone want some spicy pickle chips?  We have a tub of them...

Do I look like I work here?

Not long ago I was in Portland, Oregon for a family wedding.  I don't know about you, but sometimes, while I find family wonderful, I want to be off on my own and away from good meaning, if sometimes overly protective eyes.

On this trip I was the lone member of my immediate family, my parents, brother and husband having stayed in San Diego due to prior commitments and responsibilities.  This left me alone with my aunts, uncles and cousins.  I come form a large, loud family and everyone has an opinion and isn't afraid to share it.  I'm sure people love it when we role into town. 

It doesn't help that I am the only girl in a family of boys and therefore am sometimes subject to loving, if unnecessary, over protective instincts.  I have gone to Europe by myself, am married and own a home, but when with my family, I am 12.  So you can see how this could get a little cloying and claustrophobic.

It was one of the hottest days of the summer in Portland, well over 95 degrees, and our little family group had been wandering all over downtown in a large, loud bickering group.  Knowing that I had an appointment in 2 hours in the same area, I told them to explore the city without me, so that I wasn't late for my appointment (appointment was an adventure unto itself and will be posted about later).  Liberated, I used this as a chance to explore Portlands downtown and Chinatown area.

I wandered the blocks, happily ducking into little shops and chatting with people in coffee shops.  I crossed the street looking for a famous donut shop in the area and decided that I needed a break in the shade and I would call my Mom to fill her in on the day.  Finding a big block of shade on the block while looking down at my phone, I leaned against the wall under the awning and chatted with my Mom.

This block was packed as the line from this shop grew and grew.  I am a fan of donuts, but waiting in the hot sun for over an hour for a donut is just not something that I could bring myself to do.  I was telling my mom about this massive line when a gentleman walked up to me and handed me his drivers license.

Startled, and thinking "why is this guy handing this to me?' I looked up, smiled and gave it back, all the while never stopping the phone conversation.  A moment later another guy gave me his license and I said, "Cool, you're from Washington" and handed it back to him.

"What?", my Mom asked, because Washington was in no way the correct response to our conversation.

"Sorry Mom, its just that 2 guys have handed me their drivers licenses for no reason, so I handed them back.  The last one was from Washington."

"Why would they hand you their licenses?", she asked.

"No, idea", I replied, looking back down at the sidewalk.  I propped one foot up against the wall and noticed that the area near my foot had been painted like a castle or a wall.

"Huh, ok...tell me about whats happening with your aunt", my mom continued, unfazed by the odd conversational turn.

I started talking again when another guy walked by and handed me his license.  I looked at him, gave it back and then said,"Mom, I have to go. This keeps happening and I don't know why."

"Does the donut shop serve alcohol?", she asked.

"Not that I'm aware of," I replied as another guy handed me his license," I've got to go".

I handed the guy back his license, hung up with my Mom and looked to my left and my right.  Nothing looked odd and the donut line was still long, but the guys who had given me their licenses were not in the line. Disappearing into thin air seemed unlikely so, where did they go?

Remembering the castle like paint near my foot, I slowly walked out to the street to look at the awning I was standing under.  As the words came into view I slowly see an anime, Sailor Moon-like girl in a thong on a huge banner.  I realize that I am standing at an adult entertainment store!

Apparently I was standing directly in between these two landmarks

Apparently, I was being mistaken for the ID checker for this establishment.  I started giggling, because how in the world had I missed all this?  It was an old movie theatre converted into a an adult entertainment venue and I was completely oblivious. 

Maybe I need that family supervision after all.

The Fuzzy Adventure of a Lifetime

Adventures and escapades come in all shapes and sizes, and this one is no different.  Did you know that October is Adopt a Shelter Dog month?

While this may not seem overly adventurous, but I promise you, the addition of any animal into your life is the fuzzy adventure of a lifetime.  Meet my dogs Charlie and Wilson.

Both are shelter dogs, both had horrible backstories and both had us at "woof".  Charlie was abandoned in a locked yard of an abandoned house, he was under fed, covered in foxtails and many had infected sores from the foxtails.  He was so sick when he was picked up that he had to have surgery in multiple areas to remove the foxtails, including having his front paws split to get them out (ouch!). He was shaved short when we got him but now he looks like this.

He is fat and happy and spoiled and has the sweetest personality.  He loves everyone and has an inordinate love of squeaky toys (the squeakier the better).

This is Wilson, he was hit by a car in front of our house and was running around the neighborhood, scared, hurt and starving.  After catching him (the plan was courtesy of Willie E Coyote and the Roadrunner cartoons) we took him to the vet and fixed him up.  We took him to the shelter in case he was someones, and when it was determined that he was not, we brought him back home.

Wilson follows my husband like he hung the moon, is always willing to cuddle and likes to burrow under the blankets.

Both of these dogs have brought my husband and I a lot of joy and happiness.  They are happy, we are happy and while they sometimes steal the bed and track mud on the floors, they are a part of our family.

The only ones not as happy about their introduction to the household?

These two:

This is Duke, his hobbies include hiding my Nook, any kind of remote and all small electronics by laying on them and cuddling you within an inch of your life.

This is Nicole.  Her hobbies are telling everyone, including us, what to do, sleeping in the sun and graciously allowing us to use the bed at night.

These two are our shelter rescue cats.  They have been with us for 12 years and they completely rule the household.  They also were abused and starved and when we brought them home we didn't see them for a year.  They hid and we'd hear them eating under the cover of darkness.  Now, they boss around everyone in the house, including the dogs.

Is my house over run with animals?  Absolutely.  Is it worth it?  Indubitably 

So this October, if you can, go out and add a member to your family.  I prefer to call it, Adopt a Shelter Animal month, because while you may not be able to save a dog, you could save a cat, a bunny or whatever else you may find.  :)  So join me in this adventure, I promise you that while sometimes it can seem crazy, it is definitely worth it.

If you can't adopt, you can always help out your local shelter by donating time, food and supplies! 

Travel Advisory

New Rule: Beware traveling with Miss Bibliophile Girl!

You may have read our account of the Taxi ride from Hell (click here if you haven’t..I’ll wait)

We got on a shuttle bus with her back to her hotel during Comic Con and at it seemed fine.  We had been walking around for 4 days straight, so sitting in an air conditioned bus was lovely.  The doors close and we’re off.  But then something strange started to happen….the bus driver started talking.

Not talking in a tour guide “See the sights to the right” kind of way.  He was obviously having a conversation with someone in the front of the bus, but he was speaking into the announcement speaker for his side of the conversation, so everyone could hear him.  Here is what we heard:

“Yeah, San Diego has changed a lot…I remember off of  (muffled) street, there used to be lots of them.  I remember the strip clubs and one turned into a Playboy Club!”

“If you all know where you are supposed to be dropped off please let me know because they removed all the signs and I don’t remember all the stops”. (Oh so comforting to hear from your driver)

“ (chuckling) me too..”

“I’m super lucky...(muffled, muffled, muffled) I took a busload of people to LA.  And I took them to the Playboy mansion!”

“I totally bs’d my way in and I spent the evening hanging with the bunnies and I got  play in the Grotto!” (more chuckling)

“Hey, I’m making a turn for the first stop, but after that I don’t know where I am supposed to stop”.

Finally an official announcement: “ I am making the turn to the first stop”.

Followed by:” Here we are at the first stop, please exit here if you want to get off here”.

Everyone practically jumped out of their seats to get into the aisle.  All proper exiting the bus behavior that they teach in elementary school was forgotten in the desire to be off this buss with this skeevy guy. 

From now on I think I’ll just meet her places.

Awkward!!!

I love Comic Con. What other time can you see people dressed as superheroes mingle with movie stars and it’s encouraged? It’s a place where you can see any interaction if you just look around. Which is how I came to witness this really awkwardone…..

I was at the Omni Hotel leaving a press event on a mid-levelfloor. The elevator opens and I walk in,to find a pretty blond woman in a pretty black dress standing next to the button panel. I realize that it is Anna Torv from the television show “Fringe”. I smiled and said, “Hello” as I do when I get into elevators with strangers, but left it at that.

As the doors were closing a guy jumps in and stands rightnext to her. He looks at her a moment and says really excitedly and loudly ,”You’re that girl!”

She had been looking at the floor and looks up and shyly smiled and said,” Yeah…”

He grins and says,” You’re from the show!”

“Um…yeah, that’s me”, she said.

“you’re …um…you’re that girl!”, he exclaims again followed by “What’s your name?”

She tells him her name and he says, “What’s that show you’re on?”

She answers him again and he says,” Yeah, you’re really good in that show……I mean, I don’t watch it…but the commercials are really good.”

A bit startled she say,” Oh, ok..thanks”. Because what can one say to an guy who all but wets himself meeting you and then he blurts out that he has no idea who you are or what show you’re on.

He moves a bit closer to her and she moves a bit further back.

“Are you doing a panel here?” He asked her as we got close to the lobby.

“Yes, I’m going there now,” she replied.

“Yeah, for that show….um, what’s its name again?”, he asked

She replies with the name of the show again and says to bothof us,” Are you media?”

I replied,” I’m a writer” and left it at that.

He says, “I’m a tech guy, I just push all the buttons. They usually don’t let me meet the talent very often.”

Yeah….. that is obvious

Made of Awesome

You know what I love? When something unexpected happens. And that was probably the best description of my day today. Here is a list of the things that happened that I could never have predicted:

I tried alligator – it was fried and tasted a lot like (everybody with me ) “Chicken”!

Went to the theatre and got a pair of welding goggles (who doesn’t?)

Taught complete strangers how to do the "Time Warp" and then made them do it in front of the theatre

I met Dr. Horrible and got my hands on some Wonderflonium

Found the Top Secret Headquarters of the Evil League of Evil

I met a cute young guy who took me up to the rooftop party in a deathtrap of an elevator (I swore it was going to take us into the Twilight Zone like the Tower of Terror)

By the time we got to the roof I decided I loved him because:

He likes theatre

He loves Star Wars

He referenced the “Three Amigos” and “The Three Cabarellos”

He was a math/astrophysics major

He thought I was 26 ( I won’t lie, this gave him major points)

So I did the only normal thing, in the middle of the after party I got down on one knee and proposed to him (FYI: he said “yes” and I did tell him I was currently married)

We figured if we get married in a different state then it’ll be ok, right?

All in all, today was made of awesome...and to think, I have 4 more days of adventure coming up this week!

Let them eat cake!

This week has been an absurd week of everything going wrong, every piece of technology I touched breaking down, multiple people quitting in one day and more drama than you could get if you pitted a bunch of tween Twilight Fans versus…well anyone who reads good books.

At the end of the night Friday (which in a quick recap involved training a new person, 2 weddings – which are drama in their own right, missing confirmations, every employee at one location not doing their job correctly, lost caterers, a frantic bride, a groom tossed into the pool and more broken technology) while I sat at a property, in a moment of rare quiet, someone from one of the weddings brought me a piece of cake. Which was incredibly nice of them and very sweet and appreciated after my day.

See the picture of the piece of cake? What could be wrong with this picture?

Could it be the chopsticks???

I have no idea how to eat cake with chopsticks, so I am going to try. I am good with chop sticks usually, how hard could this be, right? (it should be noted that they apparently ran out of forks and only had chopsticks, so this experiment was being run by many others at the same time as mine was)

Attempt #1 Cake crumbles upon grabbing with the chopsticks. Must try it more gently next time

Attempt #2 Now too gentle and cannot get any cake to stay between the chopsticks

Attempt #3 Aha! Perfect tension has been achieved ...then Fail! Cake almost got to my mouth before gravity made it fall down into my cleavage

While attempting to clean cake from my cleavage the brides father came over to ask me a question….awkward

Attempt #4 managed to get some of the filling onto the chopsticks and attempting to get the cake to stick to the filling – not working

Attempt #5 took a piece from the frosted side in hopes it was sticky enough for the cake to not need to much pressure to stay in the chopsticks

I am short and sitting at a desk…why is this distance so hard for the chopsticks to navigate?

Attempt #6 got a full layer of the cake, but just cake. Frosting and filling decided to not come along on this try

Attempt #7 trying to get a complete bite of cake containing all elements, cake frosting and filling... the cake crumbled as the filling dripped in plops on the desk and my shirt, the frosting held on tight before making a dive for it

Attempt #8 this is a silly way to eat cake

Huh, turns out this is not the best method for eating cake